On Friday, November 5, 2021, a local New York resident, identified Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447, pulled down his pants during a verbal confrontation with the owner of Little Lily’s Family Pizza.
The incident occurred around 1:00 p.m. According to Ms. Lily, owner of the small pizzeria in Lower Manhattan, the confrontation started because Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 was unsatisfied with his pizza. The fight scaled rapidly until the alleged aggressor pulled down his pants, exposing his male genitalia.
“He was furious,” said Ms. Lily. “He was yelling, and it seemed that he wanted to choke me with his eyes.”
Visual witnesses explained that the argument started because Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 found a piece of pineapple on his pepperoni pizza.
This incident is the seventh case of harassment caused by unsolicited pineapple on pizza in 2021 in the New York metropolitan area. According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, on average, one American will find pineapple residues on their pizza every 30 minutes. Federal authorities estimate that one in every five of these cases ends up in violent confrontations.
Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 allegedly claimed that Ms. Lily had insulted his Italian heritage and threatened to press legal charges against her for personal damages. According to our journalistic research, Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 is 1/5 Italian.
Mr. Latour, a local business owner who was at the scene at the moment of the dispute, gave a detailed description of Angry Pizza Man’s penis. According to Mr. Latour, the penis was of average size and thin.
The argument concluded when Ms. Lily threatened with calling the police. Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 immediately escaped through the doors at full speed, taking his slice of pepperoni pizza and leaving his pants in the pizzeria.
Currently, Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 is on the run. Some reports indicate that Angry Pizza Man STICKDIX #2447 was running pantless up 5th Avenue towards Manhattan, still holding his slice of pepperoni pizza.
NYPD released a report asking New York residents to remain calm if they stumble upon Angry Pizza Man. He is not armed and does not represent a danger to public safety. He is simply angry and without underwear.
The AIA Chronicle will continue to report on any updates.